I made a decision tonight -it is not one that I am happy at all about but it is one I feel called upon to enact. Since I began blogging I have allowed Open Comments. At times there have been comments I have disagreed with and that is fine. There were two that were very harsh toward me directly -and while they hurt (sorry my skin still isn't that thick) I allowed them without comment. But today someone posted some thing that I believe were not necessary, that I do not believe to be totally true and that cast (in my opinion) the church in a bad light. And I don't take lightly to people criticizing the Lord's Bride or my Family whom I love.
The problem is that it is anonymous and that I do not know who or how to contact the person who said those things. I would like a chance to interact with them (and still would - they know my contact info -I don't know theirs). I like for anyone to be able to post but I see no way to respond when someone won't post their name and own up to their comments. See, one could say anything, claim anything, stretch truth or outright lie under the anonymity of the Internet.
I just don't believe there is good that comes from anonymous letters or postings. It leaves you wondering, it makes everyone a suspect and they usually hurt. I like the way a dear friend puts it - "I don't read anonymous letters unless they have money in them." To say it very frankly - they dishearten, discourage and take the wind out of my sails! They leave me with a sick feeling in my stomach for days and I become preoccupied with how to "fix" whatever it is but feel useless in trying to do so.
So, while I hate to do it, for now I'll go to where you have to log in to post - but any and all can still e-mail me. I know it takes a moment, but please register - and post - it's free and I want to hear from people who read these blogs.
I love open talk, even if it is sometimes critical - I've learned some of my most valued lessons from open criticism I do think people need to own up to their comments. So let me ask: Should I allow anonymous comments and leave them all? Should I delete the ones I think are inappropriate? Or should I just not allow them at all? TAKE THE POLL NEXT DOOR...
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
We are blessed...
This is my one place for me to write without someone who looks over my shoulder - it is a place where I can be much more myself. I can be politically incorrect, I can be gramatically comfortable and I can talk about WHATEEVER I want to without feeling I represent anyone - that is except God. . . To get a real taste of what I'm doing in life right now and why I would ever leave Granny White read: http://dalejenkins.blogspot.com/2006/05/living-courageously.html
More or Less?
About Me
What I'm Reading...
- The Reagan Diaries
- The Servant
- The Gospel According to Starbucks
- EPIC
Who I'm Reading...
- Steve's Preaching page and blog
- My Sister's Writing - She will bless your soul
- "Where Your Treasure Is" - Money saving tips from some Christian friends
- My friend Heather's thoughts
- Like Heather - Tesney and I go back about 20 years
- My brother and his son' site
- Jonathan Jones site
- My Friend Adam's blog
- Don't Miss Drew!
- Jeremiah Tatums thoughts
From the Wedding...
We are blessed...
10 comments:
I love criticism. I have learned so much from those who have told me how to do and be better. I don't try to decide if it is constructive or destructive criticism.
A common definition of constructive criticism is when I criticize you; destructive criticism is when you criticize me. Just because someone criticizes doesn't mean that I have to believe it, accept it, or act on it. Since it pertains to me, I need to decide how to handle it. I promise to listen to it, write it down, and think about it. If it doesn't fit, I may take it back and find the correct size. If it doesn't belong to me, I will return it or dispose of it.
I do not accept anonymous criticism. I do not think it helps me or the person who made it. I have written thank you replies to three notes I have received with postal money orders in the envelope. The person signed: "Anon E. Moose" and had a return address. If anyone (anonymous) would like to receive a thank you note from me, please enclose a postal money order, or cash, and send to:
Jerrie W. Barber
P. O. Box 630
Eddyville, Kentucky 42038
I enjoy your blogs. If I think you need correcting, I will let you know and sign my name. If I think it is urgent, I will call and you can pick up my identity on your caller ID.
First of all, the poll made me laugh out loud!
Anyway......
I don't think it's the "anonymous" signature that is the problem. I think it's the intent of the writer. If I wanted to leave a really positive and encouraging note anonymously, I think it's ok. If I were on the receiving end, I would think that God was sending me a little love note, and I would guess that the person who wrote it was doing so secretly (found in scripture) as to be humble and selfless.
BUT! Harsh words written anonymously are that of insecure, uneducated cowards. I'm not name calling here. I love those people more than they know. I have many in my family and I wish to talk to them about their pains and frustrations. Good only comes from TRUTH. And TRUTH needs to come from our mouths.
One more thing....I can be intimidated pretty easily. I have felt very uncomfortable in many churches.
But SPRING MEADOWS is a place where true freedom of expression exisits. Where concerns and questions can be addressed. However, when openness, vulnerabily, honesty and love is offered but not accepted, open arms are left empty and hardened hearts are left unaided.
Thank you Dale and thank you Spring Meadows family for being REAL LOVE in action. Jesus loves you!
Love,
Sorrel
I think that if you don't have the courage to put your name down on something you have written then in more cases than not, you mean for no good to come of it. The anonymous person doesn't want you to be able to respond to them, because they are not open to another opinion. Mean anonymous comments are meant to do exactly what this one did to you, hurt! They are not worth ever reading!
I did a piece on this idea of these letters or comments. I am like you, I really do not like them. Sorry people did that to you.
I am the one who left the comment and no I will not let you know who I am. I am not uncourageous or uneducated, and you have no idea what I wrote to judge whether or not I was being hateful. The intent was to open our eyes to something that I have witnessed in church, from a few people and how THEY were treating a fellow christian. NOT to hurt anyone or to be mean, but to take up for someone being unfairly, and from some, publicly embarrassed. I will not share what I said, because the wishes of our Blogger. I can tell he is deeply concerned and will do what is right. I just wish the others could have read it to see themselves in my comment, however, sometimes it doesn't change a thing.The blog was NOT harsh, just informative. I noticed something and brought it to attention, I wasn't judging something unseen, this was very public. Be careful judging something you know nothing about. Do everything out of love.
hello. I saw the comments lightweight posted anomously before they were deleted and i think you should know a few things. what was posted was not harmful to SM in any way. it showed an opposing view to the "everythings perfect" attitude that is in many of the comments on this blog. that is the truth. it was not directly harmful or mean to Dale. in fact, he was not even mentioned - no names were mentioned. moving on to the earlier posts by others (SM members and not). Yo should check your comments guys, you defend something you have not idea about. someone says that someone said something mean about them and you come out in swarms with statements comdemning the poster. be careful about name calling and statements saying you aren't. one of you stated that you are easily intimidated - then you should understand how good it is to able to post anonymously. the first rule of blogging is to allow anonymous comments, as blocking them presents a conversation barrier. I would ask Dale allow anonymous comments and deeal with the conversations as they come. if someone say something offensive, remove it. but don't remove comments just because they disagree with you. youve left the comments up before, why delete them now. just to state where i stand - i agreed with the comments as they were originally posted.
one last statement about anymous comments and that is that when you dont allow them, you really only allow for people who will only speak about you in a positive way and agree with you. you can call them what you want but they are seen as sycophants.
I don't see what the problem with someone wanting to remain anonymous would be...what's the big deal? I feel that if the comment is inappropriate and we would all be offended or affected by it, then it should be deleted. I believe in a little censorship. However, seeing as I have not seen the blog, it would be tough for me to have an opinion on what the person (Lightweight?) said. I, personally won't put my personal information anywhere on the net, due to something that happened to me in the past, and I want my full name to not be published...feel free to think that I am a coward or insecure. You may be right. However, those of you who know me well, know who I am. Anyway, as far as Dale is concerned, I know he has a heart of gold, and has made right something that he may perceive as wrong. I have a feeling it wasn't really all Dale, if him at all, due to what anonymous said. I just hope that I wasn't a part of it! If I ever say something ugly, I would hope that ya'll would correct me! I know I correct my hubby all the time...just kidding honey! Anyway, I love ya Dale and Spring Meadows. People go to Churches, and people aren't perfect...sometimes they steal your joy. Don't let em!
Eh, I say keep em and delete the really ugly ones. We don't want a place for open discussion to turn into an unnecessary battleground.
Having logged over 40,000 posts to various message boards spread across the internet over the last 15 years - I've always had three things that bugged me:
1. I don't like anonymous posts
2. I don't like when people go back later and delete or edit what they said
3. I don't like censoring people, and avoid doing so unless absolutely necessary.
On issue one – when a person posts as themselves they share personal issues and original thoughts. What this amounts to is an “investment” in the exchange, and in a way “exposes” the person’s inner workings to the people they are discussing with.
When a person posts as anonymous, they have no investment, and are not exposed at all. This puts them in the digital position of being a “sniper” – able to shoot at others, but not risk anything of their own in the process. I personally find this an entirely dishonest way to exchange ideas, and in most cases it really does undermine efforts at forwarding positive discussion.
On the second issue – I’ve always believed if you say or write something – you need to stand by it as yours, whether you were right or wrong. Dale and tens of thousands of others who engage in public speaking have to deal with this every day. Once it leaves your mouth – it’s yours. I have always felt the digital media – especially message boards where there is an “edit post” feature – again serves to allow a back door for people to say things that can hurt, then go back later and delete or edit it. The bad thing is – the damage is already done.
On the third issue – I feel your pain, Dale. On the message boards I administer and moderate, it is often a difficult thing to let a post remain. Especially when people say things that are damaging, or hurtful, or downright out of line. How *I* have always handled these is to let the posts remain – and I have found that in most cases, the “good” posts will outweigh the bad, and the discussion always seems to turn out for the better in the end. I understand on a site affiliated (if only loosely) with the church, it is not as easy to let that happen as it is with other venues.
Unfortunately, my position on the third issue really can’t take place effectively when those posts are made by anonymous people. So you are left with either allowing anonymous posts and holding the “edit” feature in reserve, or banning anonymous posts and letting people with an “investment” in the discussion work it out among themselves – even when they say things they might later regret having put there. I’d prefer to go with the latter, and feel that is the best way for ideas to be shared.
P.S. - If you think this is long, you should really get me started.. lol
My comments were not directed toward the poster since I had no idea what was said, but rather to the question that Dale asked “Should I allow anonymous comments and leave them all? Should I delete the ones I think are inappropriate? Or should I just not allow them at all? It was obvious from Dale’s response he took Lightweights comments in a negative way. “But today someone posted some thing that I believe were not necessary, that I do not believe to be totally true and that cast (in my opinion) the church in a bad light. And I don't take lightly to people criticizing the Lord's Bride or my Family whom I love”
That is the problem we face with writing out our thoughts instead of talking, we are assuming that the person we are writing to knows are intent and whether it is written in a loving way or not. Bringing me back to the question Dale asked “Should he allow anonymous comments. My opinion still remains and I have formed this opinion from my past observations, that more times when I read from an anonymous source the point of view is usually a negative one and the comments are meant to hurt…. Having said that, it sounds like in Lightweights additional comments that the intent was not meant to be hurtful. Not having read them I don’t know how I would have taken them. However, the fact remains Dale took them that way. You can put any kind of inflection in reading a sentence which will change the tone from good to bad. I think Lightweight had some good comments in his/her second posting and sounds like a loving person, but the fact still remains that the comments were taken the way they were taken whether that was the intent or not.
Having said all that, I will take your advice Lightweight and I will: Be careful judging something you know nothing about. Do everything out of love." I love Dale and enjoy reading his blogs. SM is a wonderful church and is doing good works, I am sure there are people there with bad intentions because the devil works through many and we won’t be immune to it, just like every other church is not immune to it.
Post a Comment