What do you do on your "day" off?
"Days off" the term itself has a real sweet feel to it. "I'm off"!' For years I didn't take a specific day off. In Hamilton, I had to actually leave town to take a day off. It seemed everywhere I went I'd end up in counsel with someone or dropping by the little hospital. Anywhere I went I was "the preacher". Periodically I'd take a couple of days and get away. Frankly , the longer I was there, the more frequently I had to take such times.
At Granny White, the elders demanded I take one (and I appreciated it). So I started taking Fridays! WOW - I loved it. I'd read, catch up on correspondence, go to the office and actually close the door, run extended runs, take care of errands, sometimes do some house stuff, visit old church buildings, oh it was a rich day.
Well, here I am in Spring Hill and I find myself slipping. Sans on site administrative help and with a mobile office with my phone serving as both personal and business I am find myself almost always working. With no sons at home to push me to ball games. Not a complaint - I have always loved my work and do now. That is sometimes the problem. I'll be watching "LOST" with my computer in lap working on an outline, article, editing or "powerpointing". I'll be watching the 10:00 news and before I know it it will be 11:30 and I'm still responding to emails.
I heard Eugene Petterson interviewed a few months ago and he talked about how for years he had totally disconnected one day a week. No phone, fax, ipod, internet, computer.
I preach about not taking on more than is healthy or committing to more than you can accomplish, about how the body needs rest and how God made us to recreate, how even He "took a day off". I preach pretty good on this cause I'm preaching to myself.
I've been thinking lately of trying something rather interesting. Disconnecting from phone, podcast and email for three hours four mornings each week. I look at the volumes of books Calvin, Spurgeon, Lipscomb, McGarvey, Campbell, etc - without the "convenience" of internet and the "useful tools" we have (perhaps they aren't so useful). What do you think?
How do you disconnect? When do you disconnect? What do you do on your "off day"? I'd like to hear.
13 comments:
This is a great post and something we all struggle with. Few people realize the nature of being on call 24/7 every day of every month. I am like you, a day off is rare, if it happens at all. This past week, I took the Weekend after to visit the in-laws, and preached at Hartsville Pike, great day and a needed break. Disconnect, because you have to be refreshed.
I'm beginning to learn that "day off" does not really mean day off!
My dad has a farm about 20 miles away. I take a day off every now and then, leave the phone in the truck, get on a tractor, bulldozer, etc. and work my problems away. There is something about physical labor that brings a sense of accomplishment. My dad pushes dirt with a bulldozer all day long. And when his head hits the pillow, dirt does not keep him up at night worrying about a divorce, death, etc. Sometimes I really envy him. That is my thinking time and therapy.
I've just recently had my first "day off" since August 2006! I love golf and golf helps helps me to do all the things a real day off should do: refresh, refocus, enjoy, relax, and think.
With 2 small kids the idea of a day off seems pretty funny, actually, but I did, just last week, finally get a day off, and I played golf - for the first time since August 2006. And I loved every minute of it!
by the way...dale, we just had our Teen Weekend retreat at camp and our size doubled from last year - a great crowd! Matt Heupel came and did a great job as our keynote. About 140 in attendance. Class teachers were great, lessons were great, there were 12 public responses, and we had the best retreat food ever! take care,
Great post, Dale. I really needed to read this. I am the world's worst at taking on more than I can handle at one time. Keep up the work on the blog and at SM.
My attitude first going into ministry was I would work 70-80 hours a week and that would suffice as good ministry. I suffered, my wife suffered, and...ironically...my ministry suffered. The elders let me take a day off during the week and I usually spend the time with my 3 kids. Lately I have been playing (playing is a relative term) a lot of golf. I do turn off my cell phone. People get upset because I never answer the phone but it is ok. I have the option of answering the phone.
I would like to tell you that I turn my phone off. But I don't get to much. So the first thing I would like to do is go somewhere that no-one can reach me. But I have three small children and my wife may need me.
If I do get away I like to golf or fish. But I don't want to get a call if I am doing one of those things.
By the way, Phillip was here for our VBS and did a great job. We were glad to have him.
When I had bypass surgery at age 29, I learned the hard way about the importance of rest and of working with a congregation that recognizes it.
A church member's mother died the morning of my surgery. Said member was unhappy that I was unavailable to travel to the out-of-state funeral. It was only one bypass, after all.
And yes, I did feel guilty about that after the fact.
When I came to my current congregation, I told them that story. They have been steadfast in making sure I "don't work too hard," "get enough rest," etc. They make sure I get Mondays to myself and my family. It's been great because I'm the type who will go and go until somebody (or something) stops me.
Interestingly, in spite of the reduction in work hours, all the important things still seem to get done. Hmmmm . . . .
Thanks Dale for your comments. Preachers absolutely must have a time and place to get away from the 24/7 pressure they have.
For more than 20 years I have tried to make Friday a "Judie Day." That's the day we share doing whatever she wants. I hide out, screen and almost never answer the phone. Being with her is like a safe harbor, and an oasis in the desert world. It is the place of acceptance and love.
Great for a marriage! If I "saved" the whole world and Judie and kids were lost--I think I would have wasted my life.
The best "day off" is the day I am able to spend with the one God has made me one.
Enough about that. It's been weeks since you have posted a blog--so did your day off, become a "month off"?
"Uncle Dan"
Here are a few things I do to help me take time for myself and my family:
1. I never touch the phone while eating. I don't care if I'm by myself that is my time the text, email, or call can be returned in 30 minutes to an hour and this gives me a brief solace in the middle of the day.
2. I don't have a computer at home. I was addicted. I couldn't quit surfing the net, facebooking, working on a lesson, playing with presentations. So I got rid of it.
3. I never do back to back weekends and only do Saturdays when it is impossible not to. I am one of the few youth guys who never plans an event on Saturday but that is a day I can be with my wife and kids can be with their parents. I think 4 Sat. a year is all we do.
4. I remember Exodus 18:18 You're going to wear yourself out -- and the people, too. When I am not refreshed and ready I not strain myself but I also hurt others.
The "useful tools" you mentioned just give us more ways to do more and take up more time. We've got to get that powerpoint animation just right don't we? We view sitting and doing nothing as relaxing, but it's not. You must relax actively and this means getting a hobby, reading for pleasure, or meditating. Your mind will wander if you don't and that is what you are really wanting to relax on those days off. In any case, you must do something that keeps you out of the office. I have found this to be the case in my own life.
Thanks for the post Dale. It resonates with me. I don't suppose we can get along anymore without all the gadgets. I know you love them. I do too, but it's a love-hate sort of thing. I consider breaking the mold sometimes. It seems to me that with all the emails to check, Facebook to keep up with, blog posts to write (and read ;-)), IMs here and there, well-designed presentations to produce, etc., etc., etc. that we're overworked with all these "luxuries" that are supposed to make life easier. If all I had to do was go to the office, study, prepare and preach lessons, make visits and conduct Bible studies--the old simple minister's life--I'd be alright. As is, I suppose, like you, I've got to figure out better ways to get a break.
Thanks again.
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